Literally.
Ecclesiastes 9:16-18:
So I said, “Wisdom is better than strength.” But the wisdom of the poor man is despised and his words are not heeded. The words of the wise heard in quietness are better than the shouting of a ruler among fools. Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroys much good.
As I sit in my office this morning studying Ecclesiastes, I realize how little I am and how big God is. I literally have nothing to offer anybody when I work through my flesh. I can talk to people, (is that a spiritual gift? Gift of gab? No... Ashley focus!) but it won't do them any good if it is coming from "me".
I was speaking to somebody the other day and the Apostle Paul came to my mind. Even though it is not the same scenario as mine, I believe it can be applied the same.
2 Corinthians 12:7-9:
Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me—to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.
Paul was the bomb dot com for Jesus. He had abilities, insight, revelations, and people flocked to him. Why? Because The Holy Spirit dwelled in him. All of this power he possessed was not of himself, but of the Spirit. But, he still had a thorn in his flesh to keep from exalting himself.
As I was speaking with this person, I shared that I also have a thorn in my flesh: speaking in front of people and writing. So I shall too boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. The Lord has given me many abilities, and I am very thankful that He has. But, that ONE thing I can't master on my own is...speaking in front of people. I can't pull my words together if I am put on the spot. I literally don't have this—I'm not that smart! I don't have eloquent speech like some do, and I can't just come up with things on a whim. It is like I'm in a dark room with nothing there and I'm scrambling to find SOMETHING... BUT when The Holy Spirit walks in the room and flips the light on, it all changes. I'm not operating within my own self, I'm operating in the power of the Spirit. I can't do this, but He can! Let me just say that I love it when He flips that light on. Because when He shows up to rescue me, it's like His breath enters into the room and fills my mind with words—words that I need to say that He wants people to know. I didn't have to work for those words, but what I did have to do is yield—yield myself, and my weakness, so that His power will be perfected. When that happens, it all just makes sense.
You will never know how to yield if you don't make time for the ONE Person who's power is made perfect in your weakness. Time with the Lord and studying His Word will give you wisdom, because wisdom only comes from Him. I want to speak wise words to people, but I won't know what wisdom is if I'm not acquiring it from the Source. Wisdom is better than strength, and once you grasp and gain that understanding, it all falls into place.
It all makes sense that He would give me the thorn in my flesh regarding speaking in front of people, because that is what He is calling me to. He wants me to rely on Him for the words and gain it only from Him, because if I am good at it on my own, will I turn to Him for those words? My flesh says "no, you won't, and you will exalt yourself".
So, I am thankful for this thorn. I pray that He does not remove it in my life, so that HE gets all of the credit and the glory, not me.
LORD, You've got this.